Surprised: i'm engaged and im laying out all of my thoughts and emotions

On November 25th at 11:30 pm, surrounded by two of my best friends, my boyfriend walked from around the corner, took my hand, got down on one knee, and asked me to marry him. At first, I truly thought it was a joke. My hair was up in a bun. I was wearing an oversized white t-shirt with food stains on it since I had just finished cooking dinner for my friends. I had gym shorts on that were hidden under my t-shirt. I truly looked a hot mess but I could care less because I was in my apartment with my friends and my man. 

Before he could propose I had a huge glass full of a strawberry margarita that my friend Maya made. I had no makeup on and had spent the entire day working on my business. I couldn’t believe that Patrick was proposing to me because a couple of days before the engagement, we went out to dinner with his friend Richard for his birthday, and my boyfriend pretended he had to use the bathroom. He came from the direction of the bathroom, got on one knee, and in front of the entire restaurant and pretended to propose. He literally pulled out...his WALLET! 

Even the day he proposed, Patrick was doing fake proposals that entire day all over the apartment. I did not even look at him when he was actually serious. Instead, I ignored him and stared at my friend. At some point, he pulled out my ring because my friend’s jaw dropped. I couldn’t understand why so I looked at Patrick and was in total shock that he was proposing. Not going to lie, I knew that he would propose that week because of all the fake proposals but I didn’t think it was going to be that night. My nails weren’t even done ya’ll. 

He proposed and right after I said yes, I RAN to the bathroom and grabbed my favorite bottle of nail polish. I immediately painted my nails all so I could capture a picture of my ring. Haha! No joke- I was a hot mess express. 

But, it all worked out. The next day was Thanksgiving 2020 and all of my family saw the ring over dinner. Today, I am planning a wedding and there is so much that I wish I knew before getting engaged. 

#1 This is a personal thing but for me, I really wanted closure from all of my exes. 
Let me preface this by saying, my fiancé and I have been in a relationship for almost two years. I truly never even thought about any of my exes before this moment. But, when I realized I was getting married and I still didn’t have closure from all of my exes, it truly bothered me. I want to go into this new chapter of my life knowing fully that all other chapters are completely closed. 

I am unsure if I am the only person who has gone through this feeling but it was a very personal and real situation I had to focus on. I went on a journey, after speaking with Patrick about it, to contact all of my exes. One of my exes, who I was with for four years, was so happy for me, as was his mother. My second ex, never communicated with me back. To be honest- that second ex never even gave me a reason why we broke up. My last ex, was confused as to why I would marry Patrick instead of him (he had asked me to marry him when we were together but I had said no, ultimately, ending the relationship). 


Truthfully, I am glad I got the chance to have closure with them all. It allowed me to mentally feel like all of my chapters were closed and as if I am truly able to give my all into this wedding. 

#2 Weddings are expensive. 

No, I am not even talking about the venue or the dress. Planning a wedding requires purchasing a bunch of little things. For example, when you go dress shopping, you need to plan to also purchase shoes, a belt, a veil, a garter, jewelry, and so much more. Then you have the things most people speak about like the food, the DJ, the makeup artist, and your wedding photographer. There is so much to purchase, luckily I am not buying anything for my wedding, as I have awesome parents but I do have to think about everything. 

#3 I have so much fear around getting married. 

I am not sure what is going on but I am having cold feet. Not, enough to where I want to cancel the wedding. Nope, I truly do love my man and want to marry him. He can’t get away from me that quickly. But, I am scared of what happens next. I am going to be a wife and that’s pretty cool but what does that mean? I guess I’ll come to that chapter when that happens and probably will end up writing about it. But truthfully, I am scared.

I have waited for years to find the person who was going to propose to me. And I knew exactly when I met Patrick that he would be my person. So, why am I so terrified? Turns out, this fear is normal. I have talked to every single married couple I know and they all said they felt the same way after getting engaged. 

Being engaged is fun and exciting. I don’t want it to seem like I am complaining. I am lucky to find someone who loves me as much as Patrick does and to give love to him. 

If you’re engaged, let me know how you got engaged down below. If you’re single, what are you looking for in a person? If you’re dating, how did you meet your partner? Comment below.

Cienna richards

Cienna Richards is the CEO of Your Life Travel Club and a world traveler. Cienna is the host of the 'Your Life Travel' podcast and aims to empower women to travel the world. Connect with Cienna below.